So I want to start this series that talks all about the little things that aren’t really worth mentioning in my monthly reflections. These “Dear Diary” posts will be messy, unorganized, kind of just like a spill of all the thoughts in my head. I don’t know about you, but I love when bloggers do these kind of posts because it helps me learn more about them and also, sometimes I can relate and I feel like I’m getting advice from a friend.
So. Whats todays, the FIRST day, of “Dear Diary” going to be about, Colleen? Well, if you read my October Reflection, you would know that once again, I was confused about my major. I was debating the idea of changing it to child study and becoming a teacher. Well, I spoke to my advisor and it didn’t go so great. Basically, I would be in school for a lot more years than I planned on (I’m currently in my third year), which would cost a lot more money than I planned on spending. I had to decide, was doing all this going to be worth it? Was I investing the time and money into something that would make me truly happy?
I think, that maybe I thought I wanted to change my major because of what everyone else was telling me. A little piece of advice, don’t let people get into your head. They mean well, but the only person who could know what you want, if yourself. Also, you’re the only one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions, whether they be good or bad. No one else lives your life but you, just remember that.
So why did I title this lattes and a dream? Well I got this little notebook a couple of days ago and decided to right bucket lists, dreams, goals, and things like that in it. At the end, I noticed that nothing I wrote had anything to do with teaching. I know that sounds so stupid. But I am a huge believer in signs and I believe that deep down, even if we don’t know, theres something inside us that tells us what we should do- but in my last post, I didn’t think that was true. When my advisor told me that teaching would take a long time and cost me way more money, I was relieved. Not because I was getting to stay in school longer (believe me!) but because I felt like the option of being a teacher was being taken away from me, and I was happy. Thats when I knew, that even though I had not known what I wanted, that I really did know what I wanted (if that makes any sense at all). That emotion wouldn’t have came over me if I had truly wanted to do teaching. I mean, I would of been devastated, right?
Well, me and my advisor continued to talk, and she told me that if I were to change my major to anything, that it should be marketing. She told me that my marketing classes were my highest grades and I seemed to show a genuine interest in it. Let me tell you, she got me there. I literally wanted to start crying. Because I had felt lost so many times until I wasn’t anymore. Then I felt lost again, until I wasn’t anymore. Then I felt lost for a third time when the teaching idea was pretty much battered. But then, she reassured me and showed me what I guess I was blind to, and I didn’t feel lost anymore, and I don’t think I will again.
So now, I’m a marketing major. I’m so excited. I’m going to graduate on time and be able to do something I thoroughly enjoy. Although I love writing, I feel like there will be a lot more job options that interest me as a marketing major rather than a journalism major. I feel so much better almost instantly, knowing that this is out of the way. Even though it was only for about the month, I think I stopped feeling like myself during the time that I thought I was going to give up everything that I’ve worked on these past couple of years. I felt like I was raising a white flag, you know? If you guys have any questions at all about majors and school, please, please don’t hesitate to ask me since I’m basically a pro at this now. Oh and I’m sorry if some of you think that I am absolutely crazy, I kind of am when it comes to making this decision, I guess.
I also hope you liked the start of this kind of series. I definitely did. It’s therapeutic to get all my feelings out, however “all over the place” they may be.